Script Consulting and Analysis by Touchwood Pictures ltd - Scriptwriting services - Reading and analysis.


          






Click below to see sample chapters and pre-order the book with discount voucher when you join INKSHARES.

Publishing early 2017...look out for the sequel BRUGES BLOOD!



https://www.inkshares.com/books/louisiana-blood-a-chandler-travis-and-duke-lanoix-mystery















PROLOGUE

On the night of October 2nd 1893 the second largest hurricane ever recorded hit Louisiana, killing 2000 people. 

Whole villages including St Malo and Chenier Caminada, were swept from the face of the earth...to this day it remains one of the greatest natural disasters in American history and became known as 
THE EVIL WIND.













    
DEVIL’S SWAMP - LOUISIANA - 1893

Lightning throws shadows across a muddy track running past a swamp. Mangrove tree roots shudder in the howling wind – grey tentacles writhing in pain. Through torrents of rain, a black coach with a large wooden steamer chest roped to its back races ahead of the storm.

Inside the pale, frightened faces of five women stare out into the gloom. The driver whips the horses with grim desperation. His face a ravaged mask. Ragged slashes of lightening illuminate his coal black eyes. A studded leather collar barely covers a livid rope burn around his throat. He wears a bushy moustache and his eyes are strange, off centre. His name is Dr. Neil Cream.

Suddenly the wind and rain cease. We’re in the eye of the storm. The coach comes to a halt. A skein of cloud tears from the moon. Revealing a ghostly silvered landscape.     

The swamp water shimmers in the moonlight. On the mud beneath the banks of the track something moves. The yellow, hooded prehistoric eyes of an alligator stare balefully into the night. The horses whinny. Eyes rolling with fear. The alligator sinks below the surface.

Inside the coach the weary women huddle together. Looks like they’ve been to hell and back. They wear red scarves around their necks. One of them, blonde haired with an ethereal beauty, looks out of the coach window. A gust of wind plucks the scarf from her neck. It floats up into the night sky, radiant against the dark storm clouds.

The driver climbs down from the carriage -- reaches into his jacket and pulls out a pistol. He heads purposefully towards the door of the coach. 

The blonde girl starts to scream. Her voice is drowned out as a wall of grey water engulfs them. Coach and horses cease to exist as the maelstrom sweeps everything before it.         




CRITICAL

SEMI-FINALIST!
In the top 176 out of more than 7000 entries...
Here's what the judges said...
 I enjoyed the heck out of this script.  It was like Die Hard in a futuristic hospital. Very John Woo--especially the final scene when the hero, his wife and baby go careening out a third story window in a mad torrent of water and splash safely in a dump truck.  

and we find ourselves hanging on and enjoying the ride.Once launched, the story unfolds quickly. 

The pacing is good; there is little “waste” or “drag” in the text. 

We like the twist at the end regarding the drug, Zeetax. 

 And then just as we think the villain has received his final just desserts and the story is finished, the hero still faces the task of saving his wife and his baby.    

Once done, the villain makes  a swift, albeit brief, come-back, and fate deals him a final satisfying blow. 

This is a story we could easily see flashing across the screen as part of a summer medley of action flicks!

PAGE INTERNATIONAL FINALIST!
In the top 1% of   over 5000 entries...
CREATIVE WORLD PRELIMINARY FINALIST
2013 BIG BREAK 

WINNER
2013 contest.
Here's what they said about it:
CRITICAL (aka) INCISION  is a terrific read. The story is strong, the characters - engaging and complex, the dialogue - snappy, the setting - a winner.   To boot, the story’s finish works!...
As in “Lethal Weapon,” “Die Hard,” and other action series, the hero is not dressed in all white and comes well equipped with flaws that add interest and drama to the story. 

 In the end, his bravado, quick wit, and never-say-die attitude bring the downfall of the villain in an exciting and unexpected way.  Well done. 
 
CRITICAL  introduces us to the designer and builder of a high-tech hospital and pathogen research complex. When the complex is taken over by an evil mastermind and his minions, the story quickly ramps up, and we find ourselves hanging on and enjoying the ride.

Complications abound as the hero and a sidekick tackle the seemingly insurmountable odds by fighting the bad guys. 

Well-crafted action sequences as well as a series of escalating obstacles thrown in the path of the hero serve to maintain our interest and dish up a strong finish -- one that packs a punch by delivering a few twists. 
Watch this space...
THE BLACKLIST 


 
        LATEST NEWS
Hear what Carson of SCRIPTSHADOW 

Stephen and Mike are great to chat to or trade e-mails with. They really care about screenwriting and really want to get better. This is such a tough business and sometimes all you have to get you through the day is optimism – and these two have it in spades. I just love their attitude and their approach to the craft. But does that translate into a great first 10 pages?? Let’s find out. 

The first 10 pages of  ULTIMATE HARM  follow Nathan Cooper, an ex-soldier, as he fights for his life on top of the Hoover Dam against an unknown group of terrorists who really want him dead. Before we can find out his fate, however, we flash back 48 hours earlier to see Nathan, who we realize is retired from his soldier days, hawking a novel at a local book fair about his battle stories.

Afterwards, he’s recruited by a mysterious man who says he’s part of an organization that predicts terrorism scenarios, and he wants Nathan to join them. We also end up meeting the evil Seth Silver, who begins putting in place a plan to attack New York City.
Contrary to yesterday's script, this one starts out strong. Check out the first sentence (italics are mine) 

IN BLACK:

The SOUNDS of high speed burst satellite transmissions. Machine code warbling -- bleeding into police radio chatter.

From the very first line, I’m HEARING a movie. Not only is it well-written, but it evokes a feeling in you. You're already transported into the theater. 

This is followed by:

STARS glitter against the black ink of space as the police transmissions build, become more urgent.

A picture is being painted in front of me. We have prose, but not prose that draws attention to itself. It’s prose with a purpose - to elicit an image juxtaposed with sound. This is good writing. I’m into it. 

Intrigue builds.

 Satellite busted. Astronauts dead. 

At this point, I can't wait to see what this is all about. We’ll get to the rest of the pages in a second. But if you're talking about capturing a reader's attention within the first scene, this is a textbook example of how to do so. 



Check out our great new poster by ace designer Cat Stewart.  Contact her if you want some great cover art for your projects:  Email -- user297257@aol.com
        WASTED!
New comedy WASTED! To be shot in Los Angeles at the end of the year.















FORGET ABOUT IT!
When a man starts to lose his memory he takes out a hit on himself to avoid a lingering death...but when a cure is found and his life turns around he forgets all about it...until he falls in love with his would be killer!

A new action comedy to be directed by STEVE CLARKE in  2014

  LOUISIANA BLOOD

SHADOW TRADE

CORTEX

       ROSE'S WAR

        SHOOTING - 2014!
When Earth is destroyed by technology, Science is banned and the last remaining scientist is confined to the prison planet ICARUS...with an hour of darkness left, and a solar activated explosive tag, he must make his escape to give humanity hope for the future.




 
 

WINNER
 WRITEMOVIES SCREENPLAY COMPETITION


SEMI-FINALIST


SHADOW TRADE




Reviews completed on:
  • "The Hurt Locker"
  • "I come with the rain"
  • "The Secret Of Moonacre"
  • "Cheri"


 

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